It’s amazing what you can get used to, and what you can’t live without.

 Recently I took a trip to North Carolina for a meeting at Earth Fare Markets.  As I was going through the always chaotic security line at Philly International Airport, I got singled out to go through the x-ray machine.  “Hands above your head…elbows back further…feet wider apart,” were the commands barked at me while others in the crowd stared as if I were a criminal accused of some heinous crime.  I’m all for airport safety, but I was wearing a t-shirt, yoga pants and I was barefoot (shoes going through the scanner); what weapons could I possibly conceal?  My back had been hurting, but before I could ask for print outs of that x-ray for possible diagnosis, I was pulled off to the side to have my luggage rummaged through.  I’m weird – I hate people touching my stuff.  It freaks me out.  But the TSA worker didn’t have to rifle through much before she found my Honeybee Gardens Hair Spray.  Damn.  I forgot to put some hair spray into a smaller bottle so it would meet airport requirements. 

 “I have to confiscate this,” the worker told me. 

“But I really NEED my hair spray….do you know what my hair will look like if I don’t have it?” I pleaded.  I’m sure she’s heard much more compelling arguments by people who wanted to keep their banned liquid items.

“I’m sorry,” she replied, and walked off.  I don’t think she was truly sorry.  Or maybe she was.  But she probably has to go through similar situations every 15 minutes because of people like me who forget the new rules, so she’s immune to our pleas.  And I wonder what happens to all those confiscated products?  It would be a shame if they were simply thrown away.  But I digress…

 I finally made it to my hotel around 10:00 p.m.   I asked the front desk clerk where I might be able to purchase hair spray nearby.  She informed me that all stores were closed, but they had amenity-sized bottles of hair spray in their gift shop.  What luck.  I purchased the one single dusty bottle on the shelf, ambled up to my room and fell asleep. 

 Getting ready for my meeting the next morning, I remembered the hair spray still in my work bag.  Now I LOVE our Honeybee hair spray.  It’s all I use, and have used for years because it’s really the only one that works so well on my rats-nest hair.  I dried my hair, and grabbed the drugstore brand hair spray to hopefully hold my hair in place.  With the first spray, I was overwhelmed by the scent.  I can’t even describe it, really.  It wasn’t floral.  It wasn’t citrus.  It was just an obnoxious chemical fragrance.  And STRONG.  I sprayed again.  It wasn’t working.  My hair fell limp.  After several more sprays (as I held my breath), I finally gave up.  It was windy outside anyway.  I could use that as an excuse for my bad hair (I always have some excuse…my hair stylist is blind, the cat slept on my head, birds attacked me on my way into work….) 

 All morning and into the afternoon, I could smell my hair.  I began to push it back, wishing I had a ponytail holder with me.  By the plane ride home that evening, I became nauseous.  Actually sick in the stomach.  I finally got home, made myself some peppermint tea and washed my hair.  I was shocked that the scent could last THAT long.  What was in this stuff??  I texted my co-worker Katy, asking her to put a bottle of hair spray on my desk, so I could have it when I got into work.  Some products I can substitute if I have to.  My Honeybee hair spray just isn’t one of them!

I recently came across a picture of Kim Kardashian and was struck by her overly-long eye lashes.  They looked like spiders on her face.  However, this image prompted me to critique my own lashes, which I found to be woefully  inadequate.  With a photo shoot coming up in only a few days, I decided to delve into the world of false eye lashes.

Don’t get me wrong – I hate anything that’s fake.  Speaking for me personally (please don’t send me nasty emails) I do not have, nor would ever consider having fake nails, hair extensions, fake body parts, etc.  It’s just not who I am.  So the fact that I was considering fake eye lashes was a departure from the norm for me. But at 43, you start to look for any help you can get. 

I walked into Ulta and was struck by the many options of false eye lashes available.  Flash back:  as a child, I remember my mother sitting on the bathroom sink, seemingly effortlessly applying individual false lashes – her lashes always looked long and glamorous.  So I decided to follow in mom’s footsteps and try the individual lashes, even after the warnings by the cashier clerk.  “You know you have to use glue and apply these INDIVIDUALLY,” she advised.  Trying to sound patient and sage, I replied, “Oh I have lots of patience and I’m good with make-up…I’m sure I won’t have any problems.” 

Having zero patience, I rushed home and ran to my vanity where I have a make-up mirror that magnifies everything 10 times (yeah, I’m getting old).  I ripped open the packaging and gingerly picked up the first ‘clump’ of lashes..then read the directions.  “Apply a drop of glue to a piece of aluminum foil…dab a small amount of glue onto lash…”  Well I wasn’t going to run all the way downstairs for aluminum foil, so I applied the glue to the corner of the package.  I dipped the lash clump into the glue and stuck the clump onto the outer corner of my top lashes.  Now I purchased the ‘natural length’ lashes and used the ’small’ size clump.  Well these fake lashes extended seemingly six inches past my natural lash.  I immediately grabbed a pair of scissors and trimmed them (yes, I had a very sharp object near my eye ball).  I trimmed and applied two more clumps to the outer portion of my upper lid only.  I wanted to keep the look as natural as possible.  Long story short, for the next two days I would find lash clumps in the sink, on my pillow, on my desk at work, on the cat, in my salad, etc., which caused me to re-apply the individual clumps repeatedly, and I wound up with gobs of glue dried on my natural lashes.  When the photo shoot was over, so was my experience with glued lashes.

However being a glutton for punishment, and thinking I could still somehow pull off this trendy look, I purchased a set of eye lashes already attached to sticky strips.  Again, natural length.  I didn’t feel I needed to read the directions since the application seemed pretty straight forward (I’m not sure it would have helped anyway).  I proceeded to stick the center of the lash strip to the center of my upper eye lash line, and slowly press the rest of the strip down, aligning the strip to my lash line.  With my eye half closed, it looked rather pretty: nice, even feathery lashes without glue globs.  And then I opened my eye all the way.  ACK!!  I looked like Liza Minelli circa 1974.  The sticky strip looked like a thick black caterpillar running across my eye.  I proceeding to rip the sticky lash strip from my eyelid.  The adhesive was so bonding that it had my lid stretching out away from my eye like a Stretch Armstrong toy.  And I think it took a few of my natural lashes with it. 

Sigh.  Thus ends my experience with fake lashes.  Kim Kardashian be damned.

So I went to a new hair salon yesterday, hoping to find someone who could perform miracles so that I might actually LIKE my hair.  I was recommended to this salon by a friend who has gorgeous hair (and probably better genetics).  I’m always leery about working with a new hair stylist, but she and the salon came highly recommended, and I’m desperate. 

I’m thinking about doing color.  I’ve never done color, but at my age some gray strands are starting to pop through and I’m not dealing too well with it.  My friend’s color is beautiful; very soft and natural.  If I could muster up the courage to actually DO color, I was hoping for the same results. I made the salon appointment, and was very impressed when the stylist called me to come in for a consultation two days before the visit. 

I went to the salon last night, and while I was waiting for my stylist, I noticed the salon carried a very common brand of “salon” hair care products.  I’ve seen this brand a million times, and I’ve always thought they were pricey.  Other than that, I don’t particularly have anything against the brand – they do what they do, and I do what I do.  Two different worlds.  Until…

I was chatting with my stylist about hair and products.  She recommended this brand, adding that it was “certified organic”.  My muscles stiffened.  I politely said, “oh I’m afraid that brand isn’t certified organic.”  She said, “sure it is…they told us it is.”  “They” must be referring to the folks who stock the salon with the product.  I grabbed a bottle of shampoo from her station.  No where did it say on the product that it was certified organic, which I pointed out to my stylist. 

“But they said it IS”, she insisted.  That’s when another stylist in the next station chimed in.  “I’m CERTIFIED in (insert brand name)”.  It IS certified organic” she demanded.  Very calmly, I said, “But look here at the ingredients…none of them are organic…in fact most of them are chemical in nature like dimenthicone, DMDM, polyquaternium…you can’t certify chemicals organic”.  They looked at me like I had no idea what I was talking about.  And it only got worse from there.  Perhaps looking to redeem their claims, I suggested that the water content (which was the first listed ingredient) could be as high as 90% which might help them with that organic claim.  So here’s the kicker.  The certified expert stylist said, “no that’s not true…their products only contain 20% water.”  Trying not to laugh out loud, I explained it was not possible to make a shampoo that was only 20% water.  Most shampoos are around 80% in water content.  These women absolutely did not believe me.  Finally I said, “Look, I own a natural cosmetics company.  I’ve been in the industry for 16 years.  I know what it takes to have a product be certified organic.  And I know product formulas.”  They still insisted I was clearly wrong because I did not take the product course.  I finally just dropped the subject.

Being the obstinant person I am, I decided to email the company this morning.  I explained what the salon folks said, and asked the company to confirm or deny these claims.  I have not yet heard back from them, but will update this blog when I do.  Should be interesting.  I hope I hear something before my hair appointment on Thursday.

I guess my point in all this is, don’t believe what you hear.  Read ingredients.  Ask questions from RELIABLE sources.  And if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, chances are…

I recently started modeling.  I know, it’s laughable at my age, especially when I look around at the 20 year olds and realize I could be their mother.  But we’ll save that discussion for another time.

Normally I do my own make-up for a shoot.  But for some reason, I decided to let a make-up artist have her way with me at a shoot I did in Philly this past Sunday.  My mistake.  Don’t get me wrong, the girl was lovely, and certainly did her best given the limitations of the palette she had to work with.  But WOW, my skin was not ready for the onslaught of chemicals which had been bestowed upon it. 

“You have beautiful skin,” she started out saying. “ You must get spa facials pretty often.”

“Um, actually, no….I don’t even remember the last time I had a facial,” I replied, thinking about how sensitive my skin is, and being terrified about how my skin would react to the products they use at most salons. 

“Oh, so what system do you use on your skin?”  System?  Does my skin require a ‘system’?  Geez that sounds like an awful lot of work and expense.  “Uh, no…” I go on to explain.  “I wash my face with a natural bar soap and water once a day.”

With a stunned and skeptical expression on her face, she says, “that’s IT?!”

“Yep,” I replied.  “Well, plus I exercise, eat organic foods, try to keep anything processed out of my body..” thinking to myself, and if I actually got enough sleep and found a way to stop stressing about every little thing in my life I would probably look five years younger. 

Throughout our friendly little conversation, I started to notice my skin feeling smothered.  Now she wasn’t heavy or cake-y with her make-up application, but I could actually feel my pores being blocked and irritated.  She was using regular department store brands: Chanel, MAC, NARS, etc.  Products people probably use every day.  When she was done, I looked in the mirror smiling but thinking to myself ‘OMG I look like Alice Cooper’.  I snuck off to the bathroom to tone down the look and noticed my left eye was watering.  I continued my shoot for the next hour and during that time I could actually feel my skin reacting to the foreign chemicals.  It itched.  It burned.  It actually hurt.  Not just the foundation powder, but even the eye shadow and areas where she put blush felt irritated.  My left eye continued to water non-stop. 

Finally the shoot was over, and I could not WAIT to get home and get this junk off my face.  I’m still amazed at how quickly and harshly my body reacted to non-natural cosmetics.  I likened it to my recent fast food experience.  I don’t eat fast food.  Period.  No McDonalds, no Burger King.  I just don’t.  Well, it seems that after a long time of NOT having food like that, when you finally DO have food like that…let’s just say it’s not pretty.  I ate a burger recently from one of the burger chains and became violently ill for the rest of the afternoon.  When you cleanse your body and rid it of chemicals, toxins and stuff that isn’t good for it, it gets used to running clean.  Kind of like a car.  You constantly give it the high grade of gasoline, then one day fill you tank with the low grade, and then listen to your car ping and sputter.  Same hold true with make-up, apparently.  Your skin gets used to thriving without being bombarded by chemicals, fillers and harsh preservatives.  It’s now 24 hours later, my skin has been thoroughly cleansed using my favorite natural bar soap, and I still look blotchy and feel irritated.  NOT fun.  I wonder how long it will take for my skin to detox?

As for me, if I use a make- up artist again, I will be providing the make up!

Sometimes life has a way of hitting the reset button.

The other day I was in my car and attempting to do three things at once, including drive (not a good idea, by the way).  My cell phone charger plugs into my cigarette lighter.  Being rather OCD, seeing the little lighter rolling around on my console was driving me crazy, and I didn’t need to have my charger plugged in at the moment.  So I decided to stick the lighter back in its place.  A few moments later, I heard it pop out.  Now the blonde in me kicked in.  I reached over to pull it out, and examine why it would have popped out like that.  As I did (keep in mind, I’m still driving, but thankfully pulling into a parking space at this moment), I dropped the scalding hot lighter onto my lap.  I was wearing shorts.  Short shorts.  The hot metal instantly scorched my tender skin.  I throw the car into park and attempt to retrieve the burning lighter, while being careful not to burn my car seats (yes I was stupid enough to be concerned about my car seats at this point).  By the time I opened the car door and threw the little bugger out onto the ground to cool off, my skin was already blistered.  As I drove home in pain, wondering how I was going to explain this one to my husband, all I could think of was lavender essential oil.

The essential oil of lavender is one of the only essential oils that can safely be applied to the skin without diluting it in a carrier oil.  Applying antiseptic lavender oil will take the sting out of the burn, and heal it quickly. It’s calming aromatherapy properties will help to ease the emotional upset of a painful burn. 

I’ve been applying lavender to one side of the burn twice a day (it burned both my thighs).  Since I often use myself as a guinea pig, I wanted to see the difference between using the lavender oil versus not using it.  The side I’m applying it to (which has the more severe burn) is healing rapidly, with no signs of potential scarring.  The other side is healing, but at a slower rate. 

My point in relaying this story (other to publicly admit I do really stupid things sometimes) is to illustrate how important plants and botanicals are to the health of our bodies.  Sure, it’s easy to go out there and buy cheap, chemically-laden cosmetics.  Or products with unproven artificial ingredients which your body may or may not react positively to.  But here at Honeybee it’s our core belief to stay as close to nature as possible.  We use REAL plants to make our Herbal Aftershave and Facial Toner.  Sure extracts would be easier, but there’s some kind of magic in the holistic properties of the entire plant.  We as a species survived for a long time before the invention of chemicals.  There’s a reason for that.  Petroleum-based antiseptic ointment, or the sweet smell of a pure plant oil?  You already know my choice.

I’ll admit it, I’m a sucker for make-up.

I’ve got to check out the latest and greatest. So on a recent trip to the drug store, I was lured to the cosmetic aisle like a fish to shiny objects.

They put all the new stuff on an endcap. Brightly colored displays featuring images of too perfect women adorn the shelves and scream, “try this product and you’ll look like ME!”

The blonde in me kicks in…… Okay….

Mascara seems to be the one to get me. It’s easy for me to overlook anything foundation related. My skin is way too sensitive and I know what will happen if I go there. I love eye shadow, so sometimes the bright new shades will captivate me. And I’m pretty loyal to my lip products (Honeybee Perfection Lip Liner and Seduction Lipstick) so that’s not the best bait either. But mascara intrigues me. I want to have the BEST. And I’m always comparing mine to other brands.

Nine bucks later, I’m walking out of the store with yet another tube of black mascara. This one has a huge super new technology brush which includes both brush and comb bristles. “Finally,” I think, “a mascara that won’t clump. I mean, how could it with this brush that has TWO KINDS of bristles?”

The next morning as I apply my make-up, I’m anxious to try my new purchase. I open up the tube to find the brush is HUGE – about the size of my eye ball. I’m wondering how I’m going to keep from poking an eye out with this thing (especially since my kitten Falon is walking back and forth across the vanity in front of my face, begging for attention…if her tail goes up my nose one more time I’m tempted to bite it to send her packing). With the precision of an artist I began sweeping the bulbous object across my lashes. Clump. Clump. Dang. I get out my single applicator brush that I swiped from Sephora, and begin sweeping away about half the product which is caked on my lashes. It’s about 6:30 in the morning and I’m not the brighest bulb at that hour, so I think to myself that possibly things will go better with the other eye. Several tissues, gobs of mascara and one upset cat later, I reach for my own brand of mascara and start over. Nine bucks down the tube. Rats.

Will I repeat this process again? Probably. Will I be lured by vibrating mascara wands, colored mascara that promises to make my green eyes even greener, and super techno advanced mascara brushes that will make me have lashes like a Victoria’s Secret model? No doubt. And they’ll all end up in my vanity drawer. At least they make fun cat toys.

One of my (younger) friends suggested I check out Facebook. “Yeah, right” I thought to myself. That’s a communication tool for kids in high school. Like I have time for that! A few months later, and I’m on the darn thing ever day…okay several times a day.

It is a good communication tool. Yeah, I like the voyeur aspect of seeing what my friends are doing and checking out old classmates, but I think it can be so much more. I’ve created both a “Group” and a “Fan Page” for Honeybee Gardens. What better way to communicate with my customers in real time than to be able to upload a note or comment with a few key strokes? And as you can tell from looking over this blog, I’m not very good at keeping up with it! But Facebook is different. It compels you to update it and keep it current. Instead of my personal page where I post stupid stuff like “Melissa is eating a sandwich”, I can post useful information on my Honeybee Facebook page like “Honeybee Gardens was featured in this month’s issue of Real Simple Magazine – check it out!”

Maybe I’m justifying my obsession with Facebook. Or maybe it really is a smart and effective communications tool. Oh, and did I mention it’s free?

“You look tired means you look old.
And you look rested means you’ve had collagen.”

- Nathan Lane to Robin Williams in The Birdcage

Someone close to me called recently to let me in on a secret – she is going to have plastic surgery. Now, it’s a minor procedure – we’re not talking boob job – but she begged me not to tell ANYONE. Of course I agreed, but it made me wonder why she was so adamant. Did she think others would criticize her for being vain? Was she afraid the younger folk would say, “You’re old, so why bother?”

Which made me examine the dichotomy that exists in our society. We’re all supposed to be 5’10” blondes, tan (somehow without setting foot in the sun), tight-bodied, an unrealistic 118 lbs. with flawless skin and not a sag or wrinkle anywhere, no matter what your age. BUT if you choose to sneak in a little nip tuck to help you achieve that level of perfection, you’re scorned and marked with a scarlet letter. So others choose to ignore this unachievable level of perfection and let their hair go gray, allow gravity to take over and celebrate their changing bodies. These women are categorized as New Age kooks who obviously don’t care what they look like. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve watched the Celebrity Plastic Surgeries Gone Wrong shows on cable. Who could forget the photos of a botched Tara Reid or plastic surgery addict Jenny Lee who looks like a walking Barbie doll? We scorn them and make fun of them, but aren’t we the same people who created them? This is the same society who will scoff at Cher for having a nip tuck, but when the subject of abortion comes up will scream, “I can do what I want with my body!” I don’t get it. Maybe I’m not supposed to. I guess we can’t all be Joan Rivers who makes fun of herself for having so much work done. Will I still secretly sneer at the 40 year old blonde trainer at the gym who I know has had breast implants and regular Botox but looks amazing? Probably. But I hate her because we all want to be her. When will it be okay to just be our own imperfect selves? Sadly, not in my lifetime.

My mother-in-law called the other day.

“When are you going to start making a wrinkle cream?” she asked.

This surprised me. It means that possibly my mother-in-law is finally starting to take my business seriously. When someone asks, “What does Randy’s wife do?” the standard response is “Oh she has her own little business. That ‘all natural’ stuff. Ya know.” So perhaps by her asking me this question, it means she actually believes in what I’m doing. Gee, and it only took twelve years and worldwide distribution into 15 different countries….

“I won’t be making a wrinkle cream” I responded. “Why not?!” she demands. Well because we’re all about making real solution-based products that truly work and are good for your body. There is no cure for wrinkles. It’s the sad truth. Lots and lots of companies out there will try to tell you otherwise, but it’s just not true. You can make wrinkled skin look better by plumping it up, but it only lasts as long as you use the product. I’m certain this is not what she wanted to hear.

“The good news is there’s a much cheaper way of making your skin look better,” I proceeded. “Make sure you eat right – good whole natural and organic foods. Drink LOTS of water. And exercise to improve the circulation in your skin.” I could tell she was already bored with my answers. “That’s what everyone says,” she whines. Well, there’s probably a reason why everyone says this, but I hold that thought to myself and continue, “The other thing you can do is provide external hydration to your skin. Skin loves humidity.”

“I live in Florida,” she responds without adding the “duhhhh….”

“Yeah, I know you live in Florida” I tell her, “But you rarely go outside. You’re often inside with the air conditioner on. The air conditioner sucks the humidity out of the air and consequently out of your skin. Try putting a small humidifier in your room.” I continue to tell her the story of how scary my skin was looking earlier this winter. As soon as I put a humidifier in my bedroom, my skin almost instantly started to look better. Those little fine lines I was starting to see are gone. My skin has never gone through a winter looking this good. And the only thing I really changed was adding that humidifier.

“So you’re not going to make a wrinkle cream?” she asks after patiently listening to my story.

“No, I don’t think so.” I hear her sigh. I wonder if she was preparing to tell her friends that her daughter-in-law was working on a magical cure for wrinkles. Perhaps then making her son wealthy and soon retiring to Caymans. But alas, she must continue to tell them…only when asked….that I make “that all natural stuff.” Ya know.

I tried to tell myself it’s just that time of year. November in Pennsylvania can be pretty tough on your skin. Well, for that matter, so can December through March. The frigid outside air combined with dry interior environments can take a toll on your skin quickly. That’s what I told myself when I looked in the mirror yesterday morning.

Okay, I’m fighting a cold. And PMSing (a little too much info). But when I looked in the mirror before dragging myself into the shower, I was horrified. And it wasn’t the typical do-I-really-look-that-scary-in-the-morning horror. My skin looked like it had aged five years overnight. My dermatologists’ words from earlier this summer came flooding back to me, “stay out of the sun!” But I knew I couldn’t wake up to instant sun damage. There had to be something else going on. The skin under my eyes was crêpe-y and gaunt. Crows feet were forming at the corners of my eyes, and there was a crevice between my brows the size of the Grand Canyon. Thoughts of the big 4 – 0 looming on the horizon tortured my brain as I stepped into the warm steamy shower. “Okay, think this through,” I murmured to myself. “I know I’m dehydrated from the head cold. That’s a big part of this. And I haven’t exfoliated my skin in forever. It has been awfully cold and dry outside….” Thoughts of a friend from the gym who is my age and regularly gets Botox injections raced through my mind. NOOOO! I reached for my old terry washcloth and lathered it up with plain all natural bar soap. My skin was well-hydrated from having been in the warm water for a few minutes, so I proceeded to rub the soapy washcloth over my face using a small circular pattern. I wasn’t scrubbing – scrubbing is a bad thing. Just gently massaging the fabric over my skin. After thoroughly rinsing and breathing in some steam, I emerged and looked into the dreaded mirror once again. The water gods had done me justice. My skin looked pink and plump. The wrinkles were gone and my pores looked happy. I quickly dabbed on a bit of natural moisturizer to lock in the look.

So next time you look in the mirror at your skin and think “this is NOT me”, give the old washcloth trick a try. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the results. Remember, drink plenty of water, avoid bad-for-you foods, get lots of rest, exercise and don’t waste your money on take-out-a-mortgage skin creams, acids/peels, or injectible poisons. Bee well and bee naturally beautiful.