You Look Rested...
“You look tired means you look old.
And you look rested means you’ve had collagen.”
- Nathan Lane to Robin Williams in The Birdcage
Someone close to me called recently to let me in on a secret – she is going to have plastic surgery. Now, it’s a minor procedure – we’re not talking boob job – but she begged me not to tell ANYONE. Of course I agreed, but it made me wonder why she was so adamant. Did she think others would criticize her for being vain? Was she afraid the younger folk would say, “You’re old, so why bother?”
Which made me examine the dichotomy that exists in our society. We’re all supposed to be 5’10” blondes, tan (somehow without setting foot in the sun), tight-bodied, an unrealistic 118 lbs. with flawless skin and not a sag or wrinkle anywhere, no matter what your age. BUT if you choose to sneak in a little nip tuck to help you achieve that level of perfection, you’re scorned and marked with a scarlet letter. So others choose to ignore this unachievable level of perfection and let their hair go gray, allow gravity to take over and celebrate their changing bodies. These women are categorized as New Age kooks who obviously don’t care what they look like. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve watched the Celebrity Plastic Surgeries Gone Wrong shows on cable. Who could forget the photos of a botched Tara Reid or plastic surgery addict Jenny Lee who looks like a walking Barbie doll? We scorn them and make fun of them, but aren’t we the same people who created them? This is the same society who will scoff at Cher for having a nip tuck, but when the subject of abortion comes up will scream, “I can do what I want with my body!” I don’t get it. Maybe I’m not supposed to. I guess we can’t all be Joan Rivers who makes fun of herself for having so much work done. Will I still secretly sneer at the 40 year old blonde trainer at the gym who I know has had breast implants and regular Botox but looks amazing? Probably. But I hate her because we all want to be her. When will it be okay to just be our own imperfect selves? Sadly, not in my lifetime.
posted by Melissa @ 7:53 AM
5 Comments:
Melissa I absolutely agree. We are flooded with airbrushed images of what 'beautiful' has been stereotyped to look like.
Last month I became completely outraged by the new billboards that have gone up. "You CAN be Beautiful. Yes you can"...Berks Plastic Surgery!! No one has the right to make someone question their own beauty. I was so appalled by this billboard, I asked my paralegal sister in-law if I could sue to have them take it down. She said that wouldn't work.
As a massage therapist, I see beautiful people all the time that are still insecure in their own bodies. If someone doesn't feel beautiful, plastic surgery isn't going to make them feel beautiful. Their acquaintances may act as if they don't realize the person had any changes done and this will not foster a more positive self image.
There are certainly some cases where someone has one area they hate or consider disfiguring that plastic surgery could be helpful. That's now what I'm talking about.
As a society I feel we need to acknowledge beauty in all colors, shapes and sizes.
There are cultures that recognize and applaud the beauty of a woman, all women, it feels wonderful and the women are glowing, partially because they've been made to feel so unbelievably beautiful!
Have a wonderfully beautiful day!
~Cheryl
I grew up in a S.Asian country and came to the USA to attend college. After attending grad school, I'm now a faculty member.
Thankfully, I'm in a rural community where the girls are under less pressure to conform to the appearance ideal than in places like NY or LA. Even then, it saddens me to see how much female energy that would otherwise be used in creative and intellectual endeavors and in exploring the world around them, is chanelled into the pursuit of this ideal.
It is also very disheartening to see perfectly nice looking women beating themselves up because of their looks. In many countries, if a person basically look healthy, he/she is considered attractive, even if he/she would be considered somewhat overweight by USA standards.
I'm being perfectly serious when I suggest that American parents need to send their kids overseas for a while, with organizations like the Peace Corps. Once they see how good they have it here - even low income kids who shop at dollar stores and WalMart - I think that their outlook on life will change for the better. Hopefully, this includes attaining a more realistic perspective on looks and the importance it plays in life.
My name is Diana Lee and i would like to show you my personal experience with Botox.
I have suffered with migraines and neck pain for many years. Botox has given me my life back. I have arthritis in my neck and Botox is the ONLY thing that has given me relief.
Side Effects-
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You raise a point about which most of us struggle every day! It's so difficult to be a woman (also a man, as they have standards as well) in this culture. It's amazing all the horrible things we will do do our bodies to achieve this ever-unattainable standard of beauty. Not even just plastic surgery, but the cosmetics, the hair products, the millions of different things that the media and corporations convince us we MUST have in order to be beautiful. Most of these women don't even think about what is in these products or what they might be doing to the inside of their bodies! To be honest, I don't even feel that those fake women are beautiful. Beauty comes from within, and parabens and plastic are not beautiful!
Beauty is not about boobs, thighs, bellies, or butts. It is about compassion, love, endearment, sorrow, sentiment, these are the true things that make a person beautiful. How one handles upset defines who they are and how beautiful they will become. Everyday I look at my daughter who must put on makeup to go check the mail, and wonder what have we become. I hope our society sees this one day. People must learn to say "You know what I don't care if you think I'm beautiful, I know I'm beautiful". The very soul of a person makes them beautiful or ugly, not surgeries, make-up, botox, etc... Hurray to the botox on the migranie headaches I am all for that. I don' wear makeup because I think natural beauty is the true essence of a woman. Think of all we accomplish as women in our lifetime, childbirth, motherhood, careers, we take care of elderly parents, our husband, friends, this is what defines your beauty. This is what make you BEAUTIFUL!!!!
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